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‘We Get It!’
With a polar vortex sweeping much of the United States, Stephen Colbert took a short break from Trump-bashing on Tuesday to make a few jokes about the bone-chilling cold.
“The viral marketing for ‘Game of Thrones’ has gone too far. We get it! Winter is coming.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Wisconsinites have sought shelter under a thick layer of melted cheddar!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
Jimmy Fallon poked fun at President Trump while commenting on the extreme weather: He pointed out that the president’s Twitter post about the cold front misspelled “global warming” — in addition to apparently misunderstanding the way that climate change can cause cold fronts.
As the former Starbucks chief executive Howard Schultz explores a run for president, many people on the left of the political aisle have been expressing their dismay. Fallon suggested they all calm down a little.
“Some Democrats are threatening to boycott Starbucks. Yeah, then Starbucks said, ‘Don’t worry, the food in the display case will still be here when you get back.’ ” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Hummus Edition)
“Over the weekend, the United Arab Emirates held ‘gender equality awards’ that were won entirely by men. Congratulations, guys, but I gotta say, men are the ones creating the inequality. That’s like giving a ‘perfect attendance award’ to the kid who gave the whole class E. coli-contaminated cupcakes.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Denmark is building a 43-mile-long fence along its border with Germany to keep out wild pigs. Just to mess with Trump, Mexico agreed to pay for it.” — JIMMY FALLON
“To kick things off, none other than President Trump has agreed to sit for a pregame interview. And the Super Bowl, you know, is his third-favorite bowl right behind taco and toilet.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“A hummus brand in England called MeToo! will be changing its name of 14 years after the company suffered a significant drop in sales, possibly due to the #MeToo anti-harassment movement. ‘We feel your pain,’ said the owners of Toys ‘R’ Kelly.” — SETH MEYERS
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Desus and Mero — the comedy duo behind Viceland’s late-night show, which comes back from a break next month — will sit down with Jimmy Kimmel on Wednesday